Sunday Ramblings: Reflections
I know I'd hoped to write a post a week, and that would have been awesome, if for nothing that I have so many stories to tell. See the thing is, I do. Five years is a long time for 'nothing' to happen. It's a good thing though, that I have not managed to write a post a week. Good, for two reasons.
One, it just means that I have been busy. During the time I was writing the last blog, I was insufficiently employed. Yes, I had a couple of jobs, and I was in school, but I still had time to knock out an average of three posts a week. Where I am now, is a much busier time and place. If, five years ago, you had said to me my career would be where it is now, I would have laughed at you. Laughed, mainly because while I had plans for growth, they were more like dreams. Things which seemed unattainable; a child's daydream, more like. And yet here I am, living my best life.
Two, I've been doing better. Most of the writing from my past blog was from a place of pain and darkness. It was sorrow. Anguish. Anger. Fear. Did I mention pain? Yes. Pain and darkness. That was what defined most of my days back then. Battles with my parents. Struggles with my closet. Drama with friends. Confusion about career. Discontentment with religion. The relationship disillusionment. All those anxieties and worries that got me in a corner and left me practically begging for a hug.
I still get dark days, but my life is not dark now. I still have disagreements with family, but we'll enjoy a cup of tea right after. Religion? Yes, I still struggle sometimes, but we're working things out. My closet? What's a closet? My friends and I have stuck together through the years. Yes, one or two have drifted apart, and I'm at peace with that. It's the nature of growth and human relationships. Speaking of relationships, I have found happiness.
The sermon at church today was about reflecting on our lives and what we want to do with them. I'm using this time to not just reflect on what I want to do, but also on where I've been. Yes, there has been darkness there, but there has also been light. A lot of good light. The future? The future will be bright. I'm not too worried about it. For now, I work on making it the future I want it to be.
One, it just means that I have been busy. During the time I was writing the last blog, I was insufficiently employed. Yes, I had a couple of jobs, and I was in school, but I still had time to knock out an average of three posts a week. Where I am now, is a much busier time and place. If, five years ago, you had said to me my career would be where it is now, I would have laughed at you. Laughed, mainly because while I had plans for growth, they were more like dreams. Things which seemed unattainable; a child's daydream, more like. And yet here I am, living my best life.
Two, I've been doing better. Most of the writing from my past blog was from a place of pain and darkness. It was sorrow. Anguish. Anger. Fear. Did I mention pain? Yes. Pain and darkness. That was what defined most of my days back then. Battles with my parents. Struggles with my closet. Drama with friends. Confusion about career. Discontentment with religion. The relationship disillusionment. All those anxieties and worries that got me in a corner and left me practically begging for a hug.
I still get dark days, but my life is not dark now. I still have disagreements with family, but we'll enjoy a cup of tea right after. Religion? Yes, I still struggle sometimes, but we're working things out. My closet? What's a closet? My friends and I have stuck together through the years. Yes, one or two have drifted apart, and I'm at peace with that. It's the nature of growth and human relationships. Speaking of relationships, I have found happiness.
The sermon at church today was about reflecting on our lives and what we want to do with them. I'm using this time to not just reflect on what I want to do, but also on where I've been. Yes, there has been darkness there, but there has also been light. A lot of good light. The future? The future will be bright. I'm not too worried about it. For now, I work on making it the future I want it to be.
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